I know I am only 4 years in, but man have have I learned a lot in those 4 years. I feel like our marriage is something completely different than what it was in the beginning. And you know what? I love it. I love where we are right now. I love the people we have become. I love the man that he has become. I love everything about who we are. Forget about where we are at with jobs or our respective families and just looking at us, I love it so much. There is something so special about the bond between a husband and a wife. It is something I never could have imagined before.
Things I have learned or fallen in love with in my 4 years:
~ Accept each others faults. I have learned that I can’t change my husband. I know, that is so cliche but it is the honest truth. I wouldn’t want to either. His faults make up part of who he is and I wouldn’t change one aspect of who he is. I hope he feels the same way about me haha!
~ Take time just for each other. We go through phases where we spend all our time together or we spend all our time with friends. Taking time with friends helps each other grow but making sure to take time for just each other is pivotal. If you don’t spend time alone with each other especially in the beginning of your marriage, it can put a damper on the intimacy of your relationship.
~ Realize there are things that you share only with your husband or wife. There are some things that are just your little secret. Keep those that way. Or there are hurts shared that need to be kept between the two of you to preserve that trust. Trust me, I have learned this one the hard way.
~ Ladies, don’t be afraid to enjoy your husband. Embrace intimacy, especially physical intimacy. Some of you might be thinking, oh I just don’t think I could enjoy it that much. But trust me, I have seen my marriage falter when I am not interested in him. I have seen other aspects of intimacy be hurt when I am not interested in him. Sometimes it requires an effort on my part, but the connection we have because of it is so worth it!
This is by no means a thorough list, just a few of the top two on my mind currently. I am, scratch that, we are continually growing in our marriage. It is something that takes effort and take grace and mercy and compassion, and love. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
What have you learned in your marriages or even just relationships?
I love to be romanced. What woman doesn’t?! And to be fair, what man doesn’t want to feel pursued?! We all have a desire to be loved and wanted and romanced! It makes us feel special. It makes us feel like someone out there cares about us about most others! Gives me butterflies just thinking about it. I am such a sap and such a romantic at heart. I love a good cheesy romantic movie. I love old Disney movies that have cheesy romance in them. I love big bang music! To me that is always romantic. I cannot get enough of “The Way You Look Tonight.” Especially when Adam Levine from Maroon 5 sings it. I could listen to him sing that song all the time! Anyway, I love to be romanced!
Some of my favorite ways are:
~ Chocolate: Bring me some chocolate, whether it is in a box or in a paper bag or just a candy bar from the grocery store! I’ll take it and I love it!
~ Flowers: Roses are some of my favorites. Sunflowers are wonderful! But I’m really not picky. I love to receive flowers!
~ Surprises: If I am not expecting it, that makes it that much better!
~ Spontaneous dates: whether it is out to dinner or a movie or a road trip, if you put in the effort to take me out somewhere or make me dinner at home or what have you, oh man, so happy!
~Planned dates: I want to know that you are putting forth that effort. That I am on your mind enough to be pursued intentionally.
This next one might be a little strange to some of you…
~ An at home pedicure: I love to be pampered, I’m not gonna lie. TJ never really does this but that’s ok. Working in retail my feet get so sore. Getting my feet rubbed and lotioned and then even maybe my nails painted. I am in heaven!
Ladies, or gentlemen, what are ways you like to be pursued or romanced? What are ways I can romance my husband?
So, it is day 2 of NaBloPoMo! How is it going for you guys so far?! I love this! I seriously love lists way too much!
Today’s list is especially close to my heart. I know guys, I know super cheesy but hey you gotta have some cheese sometimes right?!
3 Things I Love About My Husband!
1~His smile! It gets me every time. I have always had a thing for twinkly eyes and boy does he have them. There is always so much mischief in his eyes. I love it so much!
He is the handsome stud in the green hat turning around to the camera.
2~ His hugs! I couldn’t find a picture of us really hugging but I think this one is pretty close and I love it because it shows on his face what he conveys in his hugs. He loves me so much and I honestly don’t know what I would do without his love and support. He means the world to me!
3~ His sense of humor! This man is not lacking in the humor department. I am pretty sure he has enough humor for the both of us! He is always saying something goofy or doing something goofy. It really keeps life interesting. He does it at home and at work. I love working with him!
Some co-workers of mine were trying to take a relatively serious picture because they were all wearing the same shirt. TJ of course had to photo-bomb. Typical TJ for you! Lol!
These are just a few things I love about him. I could gush on for hours but I am pretty sure you guys would get sick of me at that point. But to sum it all up, he is my better half and I could not be where I am today if he was not by my side.
What do you love about your spouse?
Oh man, I can’t believe it is less than a week until I go to Hawaii! I was definitely planning on posting more this month and time just flew by so quickly. I know I say I am going to post more every month but I really had some great blog posts that I wanted to share! That just means I will have to post some of them this week or after I get back!
We have been super busy here in the Ridges and Ripples household. TJ and I have both been working non-stop it feels like. We are continuing to work non-stop until we leave for Hawaii. Needless to say, our dogs are not happy about that. It is so hard when you are working constantly and it is blazing hot outside to get your huskies out for a walk or a run or a hike. They get overheated so easily. Hopefully, after Hawaii things will settle down a little bit and I can get them out a little more easily.
I am so looking forward to this getaway! It means almost two weeks of not having to hear from or think about work. It means almost two weeks of time with TJ, whereas right now I’m lucky if I get a couple hours in the evening before bed. I have to say, having a zip-line guide for a husband can really put a strain in a relationship. The schedule is insane and the amount of exertion he puts his body through everyday means he is exhausted when he comes home. It can be tough. This summer has definitely made our marriage insanely strong. It has tested both of us in ways we never would’ve imagined. It has made me a stronger wife. It has also made me realize that if he does this again next year, I need a different job that allows me to be home more and have a more flexible schedule so that I can spend more time with him.
Hawaii is going to be great! I am going to relax and refresh. I am definitely going to come back with lots of pictures and stories to share! I may just stay and live there. Who knows? Lol!
Now off to finish out the week before I can play!
So, I totally spaced on writing up about starting on week #2 but I definitely started it! If there is anything that I have no trouble focusing on, it is my marriage. I love being married and I love TJ more than anything in the world. I am always striving to better our relationship and making sure I am treating him the way I should be.
Anyway, here is what the goals for week two have been:
~ Respect him.
~ Offer to help him.
~ Know his love language.
~ Point out his strengths. (Be specific.)
~ Be his sexy wife.
I don’t want to go into as much detail about each of these points (especially the last one lol). These ones are things that you are going to have to think about the specifics for your husband. I feel like some of these are private things between me and TJ, kind of like our little secret. I know the ways to respect him and to love him in his love language, but I don’t want to share that with the internets. So, take a look at this list and think about your husband and how to best show him this. I have been working diligently on it this week and can’t wait to share about the next set of points to focus on here in a couple days.
On a side note, we had snow the last day or so. In May! What?! Why?! Then by Sunday it will be back up to 86 degrees. I’m telling you, Denver is crazy!
On another side note, I get to see Needtobreathe on Wednesday! I haven’t seen them since college around the time TJ and I started dating. That is a fairly long time! Considering before that, I was seeing them at least once a year. Lol.
Well, I’m off!
Alright guys, April was not a great blogging month. The song challenge was not my favorite, I’ll admit. Which is surprising because honestly I thought it would be one of my total favorites. But I just wanted to post about what was going on in my life and what I had been doing fun lately. But anyway, May is going to be better. The challenge this month is 30 Days to a Better Wife ! I am super excited about this one! I love focusing on my marriage. I love focusing on loving TJ! It is one of my favorite things to do! This challenge is also great because it is not a day by day thing, it is a week by week thing. You take a few things to focus on each week and then you work towards those. It is quite lovely. I am excited to really work on all of this
Check out the link and follow along. Maybe take some of the topics and implement them in your marriage too.
Week One: Be Interested in What He Likes To Do
~ Watch nerdy shows or paddle videos with him. The original post said watch sports with him. TJ isn’t really in to sports. White watering kayaking videos on YouTube is his version of sports. I absolutely love him for it but I had to adjust my focus for this point.
~ Ask him about his day/work. Thank goodness for him working full-time at a different job than I do this summer. I can actually ask him about his day without already knowing and being there for all of it.
~ Give him time to unwind. This one is hard for me. He works really hard at his other job. Mine is not nearly as physically exhausting so on my days off or if I am off earlier in the day I want to go outside and play. I want to ride my bike or go for a run or go for a hike. He on the other hand has been outside all day with his other job and just wants to relax. So, I need to work on not pushing him to get up and go when he has already been doing that all day.
Those are the things to focus on this week. I hope that through this month he sees just how much I really love him!
Ok, so the last relationship pinterest attempt that I tried did not go over all that well. I mean it went, but it took much longer to do than I had originally intended. Well, this one is just a looooonnngggg attempt to start with so we shall see how well this goes over. Like the last attempt I did, I challenge you to do this one with me too! I’ll explain it here in a second. I see so much divorce and unhappy marriages in the world today and so that makes me ever more passionate to be a better wife and to have a Christ-centered marriage more than ever. So, here I am doing relationship attempt #2! I am loving trying the things that I pin instead of just reading the articles and saying, “oh, that’s a cute idea!” So, come along side me and show how you are thankful towards your husband as well!
So what the challenge is, is there are 99 Things that you might be thankful for your husband. Each day you pick one thing and you either email him, text him, call him, facebook him or just downright tell him face to face that you are thankful for that thing. I will start either today or tomorrow, I haven’t decided yet. I have a feeling by us showing our thankfulness in these areas, it will not only help us see the best in our husbands and take our focus off of their flaws but by building them up that will probably draw their hearts closer to ours because they realize how much we actually appreciate them. As women, at least in my experience, we tend to look for the flaws in others, men or women. We as Christians, are called to be uplifting and what better place to start than at home? So, join me in the 99 days of thankfulness!
Here is the list:
1. He works hard.
2. He has a job.
3. He’s trying hard to find a better job.
4. He’s a human jungle gym for the dog.
5. He wants the best for our family.
6. He helps with the dog at bedtime.
7. He’s passionate about our family.
8. He’s a good leader.
9. He’s not a whiner.
10. I can trust his judgment.
11. He does the right thing, even when he doesn’t want to.
12. He tries to please me.
13. He’s organized.
14. He’s inventive.
15. He loves to get his hands dirty.
16. He’s adventurous.
17. He’s dependable.
18. He takes command.
19. He can still sweet talk me.
20. He’s a saver.
21. He’s a spender.
22. He rarely buys things for himself.
23. He’s disciplined.
24. He doesn’t [chew me out].
25. He doesn’t swear that much.
26. He doesn’t swear in front of children.
27. He can fix anything.
28. He knows when to call a repairman.
29. He’s stays calm in hairy situations.
30. He volunteers to [take the dog out].
31. He can [pick up poop].
32. He’ll buy the tampons.
33. He marvels at our [little family].
34. He asks my opinion.
35. He’s committed to our marriage.
36. He’s realistic.
37. He surprises me with flowers and gifts.
38. He compliments me.
39. He’s a good guy.
40. He’s consistent.
41. He helps clear the table.
42. He thanks me at the end of most meals.
43. He has simple tastes.
44. I’m still attracted to him.
45. He has a sweet smile.
46. He doesn’t make excuses.
47. He knows me.
48. He chose me.
49. He’s a great bug killer!
50. He’ll help with laundry.
51. He touches me in all the right ways, and in all the right places.
52. He still wants to be physical with me.
53. He loves me as I grow older.
54. He wants to be a good man.
55. He values my job as a wife.
56. He is encouraging.
57. He [listens to me].
58. He’s silly for [me].
59. His eyes don’t stray.
60. He doesn’t step out on me.
61. He doesn’t drink.
62. He doesn’t do drugs.
63. He gets what’s important in life.
64. He would do anything to keep me smiling.
65. He would lay down his life for us.
66. His arms are protective.
67. He keeps our cars picked up.
68. He pursues a relationship with God.
69. Things seem to roll off his back.
70. He tries to put up with my PMS.
71. He’d rather be with me than anywhere else.
72. He’s a trusted friend.
73. He’d give a stranger the shirt off his back.
74. He’s honest.
75. He’s not a showoff.
76. He’s not scatter-brained.
77. He’s always prepared.
78. He’s a great provider.
79. I know we’ll never go hungry.
80. He’s creative.
81. He calls if he’s running late.
82. He’s always on time.
83. He’s happy to [take the lead].
84. He makes me laugh.
85. He has a good heart.
86. He is honorable.
87. He takes out the garbage.
88. He finds the fun in life.
89. When he makes decisions he considers the needs of our family first.
90. He’s irresistible.
91. He’s kind.
92. He is willing to watch romantic movies with me.
93. He cracks up at [Youtube Videos].
94. He’s respected at work.
95. He’s a good employee.
96. He’s a good follower.
97. He’s a man of his word.
98. He desires to be the best husband he can be.
99. He’s a good companion
This list is taken from here and is not my property by any means. I made some adjustments because we don’t have kids and so I made some indications with brackets. Take a look at the original list if you do have kids or make adjustments of your own as well! Each husband is unique and we can be thankful for their uniqueness too!
Let’s do this!