Have you ever just gotten to a point in life where certain things or maybe even everything just needs an overhaul?
I have definitely hit that point recently in a couple areas of my life.
I am not sure what the specific plans are to change each of those areas, but the holidays are usually a time of reflection for me anyway. Hopefully over the next several weeks, I will come up with a solid game plan to change the things I want to change.
I don’t want to wait for the new year and make resolutions. Because I can’t typically seem to stick to those anyway. I want the change to happen now. I want to love the life I’m living and be happy in who I am and what I do right now.
I think this started sinking in when my grandfather passed away in July. Looking through his old pictures, he loved what he did and he loved the life that he lead. I don’t feel like he had any major regrets. I could be wrong but it seemed as though he was proud of the life he had lived. As I sat there realizing that, I also began realizing I didn’t enjoy and wasn’t super proud of certain aspects of my life.
Don’t worry, it has only taken 5 months for me to come to the end of my rope on all of those aspects.
So, over the next several weeks I am going to find a way to overhaul these areas:
~ Work: It is time to find something I enjoy and can be proud of.
~Weight: I am the heaviest I have ever been and am not living healthily.
~ Wife: I want to be the best wife I can be and keep my hubby excited to be mine.
~ Walk: My faith is strong right now but I want to fully dive into knowing what I believe and why.
That’s where things are at!
Stay tuned! I will definitely be sharing my game plans and how they are going.
I know I am only 4 years in, but man have have I learned a lot in those 4 years. I feel like our marriage is something completely different than what it was in the beginning. And you know what? I love it. I love where we are right now. I love the people we have become. I love the man that he has become. I love everything about who we are. Forget about where we are at with jobs or our respective families and just looking at us, I love it so much. There is something so special about the bond between a husband and a wife. It is something I never could have imagined before.
Things I have learned or fallen in love with in my 4 years:
~ Accept each others faults. I have learned that I can’t change my husband. I know, that is so cliche but it is the honest truth. I wouldn’t want to either. His faults make up part of who he is and I wouldn’t change one aspect of who he is. I hope he feels the same way about me haha!
~ Take time just for each other. We go through phases where we spend all our time together or we spend all our time with friends. Taking time with friends helps each other grow but making sure to take time for just each other is pivotal. If you don’t spend time alone with each other especially in the beginning of your marriage, it can put a damper on the intimacy of your relationship.
~ Realize there are things that you share only with your husband or wife. There are some things that are just your little secret. Keep those that way. Or there are hurts shared that need to be kept between the two of you to preserve that trust. Trust me, I have learned this one the hard way.
~ Ladies, don’t be afraid to enjoy your husband. Embrace intimacy, especially physical intimacy. Some of you might be thinking, oh I just don’t think I could enjoy it that much. But trust me, I have seen my marriage falter when I am not interested in him. I have seen other aspects of intimacy be hurt when I am not interested in him. Sometimes it requires an effort on my part, but the connection we have because of it is so worth it!
This is by no means a thorough list, just a few of the top two on my mind currently. I am, scratch that, we are continually growing in our marriage. It is something that takes effort and take grace and mercy and compassion, and love. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
What have you learned in your marriages or even just relationships?
It is summer time and I wish I could say the living is easy. Life has been so hectic lately. I honestly don’t even know where the month of June went. Next thing I knew, it was July. I traveled in June, celebrated a birthday (yay me), had family in town, and did lots of working. I have had some time to spend outside. That has been quite lovely! Although, it has also been insanely warm. Not so lovely. I have already said to TJ on multiple occasions how ready I am for it to be fall and winter. I’m ready for chillier nights, warm drinks, sweaters, skiing. I’m ready to not be baking in my own bed every time I go to sleep.
Anyway, enough of me ranting. Nobody likes to read that at least for too long.
Let’s see, what news do I have to share…
Matt has moved back in to our house. Yay! He is less stressed and we enjoy having him and his lovely little lady dog Korra. She is such a cutie and already considers herself part of the pack.
TJ will be working his last shift at REI this coming Saturday. He will move on to work at a smaller retailer store where I think he will be much happier.
I am actively seeking new work. I am really looking for some virtual assistant work where I can spend a little more time at home with my boys and have a more flexible schedule as well. Finding that kind of work is a lot harder than it looks.
Faelyn and Halo are doing great! They do not want to be outside too much now that it is hot. I can’t even imagine how hot it must be having all of that hair!
Right now I am reading The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman. It is a really weird but interesting read.
We are in the middle or rather nearing the end of watching through Scrubs. If you haven’t watched it, its hilarious.
We have finally found a church and are settled in there! So happy to have a church family now!
I think that about sums up everything that is currently going on!
Until next time,
I am always just generally keeping an eye on things I would like to buy my husband. Gift giving is a huge love language for me! I can’t help it! Haha!
So, that being said check out these awesome things I would like to buy my hubby some day!
These watch from Tree Hut Design is so awesome! You can check them out here!
I absolutely love this ring from MaraJoyce! Beautiful handiwork, you should check it out here!
I absolutely love this beard comb from miniFab! Tj would love this! Check out their work here!
Someday, I hope I can get him these things! An anniversary is not too far off 😉
Oh man guys, has it been a long couple of weeks and it is about to get longer. Between family coming to visit, getting back to life, figuring out work stuff, skiing (yes, there was a little pleasure in the long weeks teehee), and now taking over for my other boss because she just welcomed a little one into her little family! Yay!! Life is crazy? Right? Or is it just me?
There has also been much figuring out within my marriage too. I have come to realize that marriage is a constant growing of both sides. One side can’t grow in the relationship and the other stay stagnant. People change and that in turn changes how they interact with everyone, especially the people they are closest. Sometimes the growing is in a good way! I am totally one of those people that believe that no matter what, whether you grow for good or change for not so good, I stay in a relationship. I am not getting all preachy here, just this is me. I only want to stay with one man for my lifetime. I don’t ever see divorce as an option. There are dire circumstances that it would only ever be a possibility but I don’t ever see that happening! I am head over heels for this man! Even on days when I am not, I choose to love. It may not uber romantic but it is me saying ‘I am here and here to stay.’
So that was my little relationship soapbox for the day. Haha! Wow, didn’t see that one coming out…
Right now, I am also in the midst of training for a half marathon! It is my first and I am only up to being able to run 5 miles at this point! But honestly, this is huge for me! Last year, I wasn’t even really able to run a mile! This is huge! I am so determined and it feels so good! I will keep you updated as my training continues!
Guys, the last couple days have been exhausting. I think I am gonna hit the hay!
See you tomorrow!
Alrighty guys, here is to the end of another year! 2014 has been good, I have a feeling 2015 will be better! I am super excited for what this coming year has to bring! I am super grateful for what this past year has offered!
It has been such a blessing to spend time with friends and loved ones! There have been ups and there have been downs, but all in all it has been a great year!
I went to Hawaii with my best friend!
Another amazing Husky came into my life!
I got to spend lots of time outside in this beautiful state!
I got to spend time with some amazing friends!
And the skiing has been great!
What more could a girl ask for?!
Hope you guys have an amazing New Year’s Eve! Stay safe!
See you next year my friends!
In case you guys haven’t heard, I am no savant. I am no genius. I really just am not great at a pretty decent amount of things. Now before you get all, “Ashley, don’t be so hard on yourself.” I am not being a Debbie Downer here. Just being honest. I have my faults just like everyone else! There are things I am halfway decent at and there are things I am not. It happens. Welcome to life!
Things I Wish I Was Better At:
~ Eating healthy. I am terrible at eating healthy. I am currently sitting here eating Moose Munch which is caramel corn and chocolate cover caramel corn mixed together. I love me some chocolate and I love me some caramel. I have a major sweet tooth which I try to subdue with berries or other fruit as often as I can but honestly, I just love sweets! I also love salt. Lots and lots of it! I have gotten better about not eating as much but I still just love it!
~ Working out. Or even just being more active. I would much rather just sit on the couch and watch Gilmore Girls while eating Ice Cream. You feel me? Why can’t that be exercising? Why can’t you burn more calories reaching for the remote? I mean for real, I just think we should work on that.
~ Cleaning the house. I am not bad at picking things up, such as laundry to put in the hamper. But honestly, I am terrible at vacuuming and dusting and mopping. I do not enjoy it so I avoid it as long as possible. Being married has made me try a little harder but TJ doesn’t mind so oftentimes he will get to it before I do.
~ Cooking. My food doesn’t taste terrible. I mean some recipes have just not worked out, but the majority has been relatively delicious. I mean I am terrible at mustering up the energy to make food. (Remember the couch scenario from above?) I just do not want to make food sometimes! I would much rather sit on my bum than stand in the kitchen and prepare a meal after working all day.
What do you wish you were better at?
It is very hard for me to remember things. I get so scatter brained sometimes. Lists are wonderful! It helps keep me on track! It helps me focus on getting done what I need to get done and not lose focus or get sidetracked. I love them!
Why You Should Keep Lists
~ They help you stay focused! They give you something tangible to look at instead of a million different things pulling at you at any given time.
~ You get to mark them off! Growing up, my mom gave us chore charts to do. We got to mark them off with stickers when we were done with the chore. Maybe that is where this all started, I don’t know. All I know is I get a little thrill out of marking things off when I am done with them. I don’t use stickers any more. However, I do often times use highlights or sharpies. I love the bright colors! They are fun and more exciting that just marking them out with a plain black marker or pen.
~ It gets things out of your head. When I write things down, it is kind of a clearing of space in my brain. It isn’t bothering me any more. It isn’t constantly nagging. I may not have gotten it done yet but at least is on the list and it will get done. I won’t forget about it. I will mark it off. It is kind of a relief knowing that it isn’t sitting there waiting in my brain, knowing I will forget about it.
~They help you achieve your goals! Big goals have to be broken down into one step at a time. If you write down those little steps on your to-do list, you are that much closer to getting your big goal done! It is much less overwhelming and you can actually achieve what you were hoping to achieve.
I keep this notebook pretty handy all the time. It has my to-do list, most of the time my grocery list, my Christmas list, you name it it is probably in there. I love it! It really helps my brain not be so overwhelmed.
You should keep lists too! They are fun!
I love to be romanced. What woman doesn’t?! And to be fair, what man doesn’t want to feel pursued?! We all have a desire to be loved and wanted and romanced! It makes us feel special. It makes us feel like someone out there cares about us about most others! Gives me butterflies just thinking about it. I am such a sap and such a romantic at heart. I love a good cheesy romantic movie. I love old Disney movies that have cheesy romance in them. I love big bang music! To me that is always romantic. I cannot get enough of “The Way You Look Tonight.” Especially when Adam Levine from Maroon 5 sings it. I could listen to him sing that song all the time! Anyway, I love to be romanced!
Some of my favorite ways are:
~ Chocolate: Bring me some chocolate, whether it is in a box or in a paper bag or just a candy bar from the grocery store! I’ll take it and I love it!
~ Flowers: Roses are some of my favorites. Sunflowers are wonderful! But I’m really not picky. I love to receive flowers!
~ Surprises: If I am not expecting it, that makes it that much better!
~ Spontaneous dates: whether it is out to dinner or a movie or a road trip, if you put in the effort to take me out somewhere or make me dinner at home or what have you, oh man, so happy!
~Planned dates: I want to know that you are putting forth that effort. That I am on your mind enough to be pursued intentionally.
This next one might be a little strange to some of you…
~ An at home pedicure: I love to be pampered, I’m not gonna lie. TJ never really does this but that’s ok. Working in retail my feet get so sore. Getting my feet rubbed and lotioned and then even maybe my nails painted. I am in heaven!
Ladies, or gentlemen, what are ways you like to be pursued or romanced? What are ways I can romance my husband?